sunday before monday
what'd ya think this is fun for me? all this sitting around Not blogging. you think i ENJOY all these thoughts piling up with no where to go. well its not fun and its especially not fun when your own two cousins point it out to me last night after dinner.
we went for argentinian steak. just steps from my apartment but we stepped right into food that should be served on death row. its seriously beyond good. but im seriously beyond stuffed. these cousins have been feeding me nonstop since they arrived.
they are quite loud actually, i dont want to say its cause their american but i think it is. so naturally the entire restaurant (and everyone walking by) heard our conversation which went from one cousins new bathing suit to me questioning why my other cousin is always so in need of guidance in every aspect of her life (even getting dressed). i dont think she trusts herself. but so this german fashion photographer comes up to us and starts talking to my cousin and i was listening and enjoying the conversation but i was also drifting into my own thoughts and believe me, my cousin needs NO support when it comes to conversation taking giving, the whole deal so there were times when i faced my plate and just listened. And drifted to my own thoughts and listened and there were even times when i spoke to him about how much i like photography but later
when we got home, BOTH my cousins nearly attacked me with sorries cause they "thought" by the look on my face and perhaps even my body language that i was MISERABLE while that guy came over to talk and they thought i was then even MAD at them. And i had NO CLUE
a. that they thought this
b. that they noticed me
c. that i looked so upset
d. that they thought i was MAD!
it was shocking on so many levels to even hear them say this to me. cause even though i WAS in my own thoughts at times, i was NEVER upset or mad. but apparently my face is completely disconnected from my thoughts. or maybe its not.
i dont get it. i cannot hide anything. there is no superficial me.
i dont even know HOW to be superficial. maybe i do, and maybe this is why i dislike sales people so much.
but i dont hate sales people as much as i hate recyclers. and not just ANY recyclers, i mean the ones who recycle in my courtyard and play this game of who can smash the hell out of the wine bottles before putting them in the recycling bin. Who can then dump the can out onto the ground just to prove that all the glass was smashed into bits, then who can sweep up the glass and throw it back in the can as loudly as possible. i have tried to explain to my cousins the many layers of hate that i have for these people and how i feel that i will never be able to truly enjoy recycling again as long as i live due to the bastard recyclers of my paris courtyard.
ah yes. so in conclusion. please dont read my face cause its probably wrong but i will give you my honest stream of thoughts if you ask me and if you dont want to talk then i'll just give you some xray vision and you can watch all the thoughts mingle in my brain and see which ones slide down to my heart. maybe they are even sliding for you.
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Sunday, July 6, 2008
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3:46 AM
